humor

MIKE TAYLOR: My profane priest story

Telling this story would be a lot easier if I could swear in the newspaper.

It’s about Catholic priests. No, it’s not one of those scandal-riddled diatribes about unspeakable things happening to innocent altar boys. Nothing untoward ever happened to me. 

MIKE TAYLOR: On the trail again

Ya just never know. I wrote last week’s column in just under an hour, because I’d forgotten my deadline. I had, in fact, misplaced the current day of the week.

It was Wednesday. I was thinking it was Tuesday. Since I retired this happens a lot.

MIKE TAYLOR: Why science makes me nervous

I love science. I’m not smart enough to understand most of it, but what little I do understand, I love.

I’m old enough to remember the advent of the microwave oven, color television, video cassettes (Beta and VHS), CDs, DVDs. As a kid, I lusted after an electric typewriter, but alas, such marvels of technology were beyond the reach of my paltry allowance.

MIKE TAYLOR: Why I hate Popeye

I have only a vague understanding of online fundraising. I’ve heard of things like Kickstarter and Go Fund Me, but don’t really have any idea how they work.

It’s enough that I know they help raise money for products under development or various charitable causes. Some of these campaigns might be scammy; again, I just don’t know. Nor do I care.

MAUREEN BURNS: Ptatoe, potato …

The other day, our granddaughter who is in kindergarten did a poster project on her heritage. She called us for the Irish part.  

How to describe Irish culture to a small child — hmmm. We immediately decided not to mention that the Irish are known for their “drinking” — hah!

MAUREEN BURNS: Admiring the admirable

Who have you admired? Why? What qualities did they have that inspired you? I was thinking about this the other day and two people immediately came to mind. They both died recently and that gave me pause and memories of them to reflect on.

Mary Scott had more health problems than I could count, including blindness. Although I only knew her casually, I felt we really connected. I always walked away from seeing her with a big lift and a smile. I admired her strength, positive attitude, caring and her love of everything in her life. I was in awe of her resilience and spirit. I couldn’t imagine going blind.

MIKE TAYLOR: Sometimes I miss the bull

I really need to pay closer attention to whatever’s going on around me. Whatever that may be.

I spent most of my professional life covering local and state news for various publications across Michigan, so you’d think I’d have some working knowledge of current events, even now in my retirement.

MAUREEN BURNS: What’s new in your world?

I just found a couple of “new things” and want to share them with you.

Let’s begin with vino.

MIKE TAYLOR: Taking a guilt trip for Earth Day

Today is Earth Day. It is, for a lot of folks, a Big Deal.

I rarely get excited over holidays that aren’t commemorated by overeating, fireworks or too much wine, but I kind of like Earth Day.

MAUREEN BURNS: Fake it till you make it

“Until I’m bigger, I’m just gonna wink with both eyes.” That decision was made and said by my 4-year-old granddaughter, Ryane.

You can tell it’s a kid saying it because no adult, especially no woman, would say ‘until I am bigger!’ Older, maybe, but not bigger! God forbid!