Mike Taylor
Correspondent Lori Hansen is a Greenville-area resident.
Latest Articles:
MIKE TAYLOR: Making friends with monsters
Mike Taylor | January 18, 2024
I was 8 years old when they stuck me in the room with the monster. This was long ago, back when hospitals regularly packed juvenile patients four — or even six — to a room. I was there because I’d been having gastrointestinal issues, or as the nurses called it, “tummy trouble.” I remember little about the illness itself, but I do recall the thrice-daily blood draws, the scary noises … and the monster, of course.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Smells like Christmas spirit
Mike Taylor | January 11, 2024
I stink. I hate to admit it, but it’s true. For the past week or so, I’ve just plain reeked. I could change that, but I won’t. Because doing so would hurt someone’s feelings, someone I love very much; that’s a mistake I’ve made before, but not one I’ll make again.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: My solution to ‘shrinkage’
Mike Taylor | January 04, 2024
“Shrinkage.” That’s what they’re calling shoplifting now, for some reason. Every time I bring up my newsfeed or open a newspaper, I see stories about it. All the big retailer CEOs are whining about how difficult it is to afford a third summer home in the Hamptons when their customers keep failing to ring up a gallon of milk properly.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Happy to be ‘normal’
Mike Taylor | December 28, 2023
I’m normal. I’m sure that comes as a big surprise to most anyone who knows me. It came as a surprise to me, as well. But the evidence is in; all the tests Corewell Health threw at me showed the same thing: normality as far as the eye can see.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Bowing down to Flipper
Mike Taylor | December 21, 2023
A few weeks back, I shared my thoughts on being replaced by a super-smart computer. Although in my case, a mostly-smart computer would do it. Or even a not-so-smart computer. I’m guessing our new robot overlords will use the super-smart computers to replace guys like Nell Degrasse Tyson and Noam Chomsky.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Retired and the living is easy
Mike Taylor | December 14, 2023
This really is a pretty cushy gig; writing, I mean. The pay stinks, but the job doesn’t demand much of me so I don’t mind. I mean, I don’t have to get up early to do it. I don’t have to shower, shave, go to the office. I can write all day if I feel like it and finish up with zero callouses, except maybe on my backside and those I’d get watching TV anyway.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: The first burning man
Mike Taylor | December 07, 2023
The first time I met Uncle Jack he was on fire. A few minutes earlier, he’d been in a race car. Just before that, he’d fallen from the sky. The guy lived an interesting life.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Santa? Bah, humbug!
Mike Taylor | November 30, 2023
Santa stinks. There. I said it. I’m sorry if I’ve crushed the dreams of any kids who may be experiencing seasonal delusions of sugarplums, but dammit, it’s the truth. The “Jolly Old Elf” is a jerk.... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Life changes slowly online
Mike Taylor | November 22, 2023
It takes a lot of work to keep my online self up to date. Twenty-five years ago I didn’t have this problem, because there was no online me. Or rather, my total online presence was just a few lines of text crawling sluggishly over an antiquated 300-baud phone line. ... READ MORE >
MIKE TAYLOR: Running from success
Mike Taylor | November 16, 2023
I’m a failure. Not looking for sympathy here, or even understanding. For the most part, I’m perfectly content being a failure. I am, in fact, one of the happiest guys I know. This despite my poverty, lack of ambition and ever-encroaching geezerhood. Though I’m a failure in most every way society says I shouldn’t be, I’m successful in ways that matter to me.... READ MORE >