Sunday, June 26, 2022

MAUREEN BURNS: The award goes to …

Hey, folks, is it award season yet? What is award season? Who gets ‘em and for what? Who deserves them and never gets one?

The comedian, Jack Benny, was known for his dour, banal expressions. He once said, “I don’t deserve this award, but then I don’t deserve arthritis either!”

I think we should get an award for going places when you really don’t want to, but know you should. We could call it the “Should on Yourself” award!

How about an award for saying yes when we want to say no, and saying no when we want to say yes. All Michiganders have earned an award for living in a state without enough sunshine and still staying perky. Although, maybe all the perkiness is due to all the anti-depressants so many of us take. Perk. Perk.

Perhaps some of us should get an award for all the laundry we fold and put away on a timely basis. The timely snag would likely keep me from winning that one.

I asked others for their thoughts and Lou Kitchenmaster immediately came back with “Men who considerately put the toilet seat back down after each urine episode.” And all of us who have fallen into the open toilet bowl in the dark, applaud him.

Duane Putnam wishes he had given more hug awards to his mom while she was alive, instead of just saying, “Thank you.”

Pam Gress came up with many deserving awards: for doing chores you didn’t agree to; for helping a host clean up after a party; for putting trash in trash cans and the shopping cart in the corral; for recycling; for avoiding plastic when you shop; for being on time with things (meetings, bills, etc.); for handwritten notes and remembering birthdays. She continues: for trying something new and scary; for not judging the parent of a crying baby in a public space; for letting a waiting car merge in front of you; for helping others as a favor; for bringing food to someone sick; and for having patience.

Norm Nickle in Seattle wrote, “We need awards for always putting our keys in the appropriate place; for not telling some people what you think of them; for flossing your teeth; tolerating other’s taste in music; for having the nerve to read the news each day; for continuing to live in an insane country and still hoping people will come to their senses; and for not killing the squirrels in your bird feeder!”

Candy Kerschen wants an award for not forgetting to buy something at the grocery store. Dang, that’s a good one! I’d never win it.

Darci Ward Cole has a great one. “Giving an award to those who clean porta potties or public bathrooms! That has to be the worst.” Right on!

Tom Emigh suggested awards for “Folks who just keep scrolling instead of commenting or being argumentative on social media.” He added, “Being kind to animals; letting the other person go first when you both arrive at a stop sign at the same time; and for not speeding up when entering a passing lane, but using the passing lane for just passing.” (What a novel idea!) And then he added one that made me laugh out loud — “I need an award for responding to my wacky neighbor’s request for material for her column.” He’s so funny!!!

Dale Tithof wrote from Chesaning. “I think we should get an award for remembering to change our underwear on a timely basis.” Yikes.

Maureen Wolverton is a professor at Grand Valley State University. She thinks “There should be an award for everyone returning to work wearing actual clothes after COVID.”

Bev Geyer had a couple good ones. “There should be an award for eating all the leftover dessert so that others don’t cheat on their diet. Also, for smiling and saying ‘thank you’ when your mate or grown children tell you how to do a task you have been doing quite nicely for decades.” I suppose giving a snarky comment back will keep me from getting that one. Whatever!

Kean wrote a great one. “At sports banquets, there should be an award for all the mothers who picked up the kids, dropped off the kids, cheered them on, bandaged them up and sat through all kinds of yucky weather just to watch them play/perform.” Amen to that!

Yes, there’s definitely lots of room for new awards we all deserve — if life was fair, but then again, it isn’t!

Share This Article:
You can read 2 more free story this month.
Do the right thing, and support your local newspaper.

Subscribe Now!