How can a Sunday afternoon possibly be so relaxing after a week of what seemed like such an eventful week? The past week blends into something like a haze lined with touches of God’s goodness in degrees of which I trusted or worried.
You know how it goes. First-grader Hosanna sprains her ankle while jumping on the trampoline. Next, little Joshua twists his foot while taking a bike ride, then hangs onto Mama every bit of his waking hours. Yes, there’s also a fatigued Mama.
Daniel’s oldest brother Tobias and his wife, along with their two sweet children came for a four-day visit, blessing us without end. Tobias even made a pair of the most adorable crutches for little Hosanna. A lady’s retreat in Indiana, which I planned to attend, was to be Friday and Saturday. Finding baby sitters to watch the children while Mama was gone for a day and a half came next. I clutched my head, wondering if I should even consider to go or not.
Honestly, if I knew I’d have to relive the week, I’d cry. Neither would I choose to have it differently. Doesn’t God have a way of twisting things all for good? Often after the hardest comes the best. The ladies’ retreat left me much encouraged. A hundred wives and mothers gathered as we shared, sang, soaked in topics by other women. To say the least it was good for me, it brought me back to the reality that every person around me is also living a real life with real challenges.
Sometimes I sigh, next I grin to myself, wondering what may be around the next curve; we’d might as well fasten our seat belts and let God take us where he wants us, no matter the cost or how much it hurts.
I admit, as I think of next week, it doesn’t look like an easy path, either. Sunday marks 13 years since Daniel and I were united in marriage. God blessed me with so much more than I deserved as he granted me 12 years of serving as his wife (or help-mate, as I loved looking at it). As you can imagine, this year, March 19 holds an entirely different slant from recent years.
I often wonder and ponder on what Daniel would tell us if he could come back for a short season to tell us what Heaven is like and what this stage called “life” looks from Heaven’s gates.
In my limited imagination, I see him telling us it’s worth it way beyond than what we can grasp and that this life will be over that much quicker than we think. Wouldn’t he also assure us that these trials which now are so real and difficult, can be swiped away by the hand of God, as hearts trust him utterly and completely?
Little Joshua, who was only a year old when Daddy died, is trying to piece everything together. It’s hard to grasp that though Daddy cannot come back to life as it was a year ago and that as we obey God, one day we will actually go to him. Recently when Joshua was waking from his nap Julia excitedly asked him, “Who do you think is here?!” (Referring to Aunt Mary.)
His delighted response came, “Daddy!!”
My heart broke, yet in my mind I recall how Daniel and I together dedicated our children to God, no matter the cost, and I know without a doubt, that even little Joshua will be cared for by God, his Father in heaven.
OK, I’ll wrap up, sharing a light and tasty dessert. This dessert was something Daniel enjoyed and was first introduced to us by friends from Allen County, Indiana.
Gloria Yoder is an Amish mother of six from Flat Rock, Illinois. She can be reached by writing: The Amish Cook, Box 157, Middletown, Ohio 45042.